DAY 6: My First Setback (A Day Late)

It's Day 7. Yesterday when I woke up I was at 228.8... down 7.6 lbs in 6 days. I felt great! I hadn't cheated once. I was eating 5 times a day, every 3 hours and drinking my required 120 oz of water. But on we received some bad news this weekend. So in addition to our regular Sunday Date that starts with breakfast at Mimi's Cafe, we said we would be doing dinner out also (emotional eating much!?). At first I cringed when we agreed to this, but when we were at Mimi's I thought I did pretty good. I usually get their Ham & Swiss Crepes with a Low-Fat Blueberry Muffin. Obviously loads of calories in that. But yesterday morning I got: (4) Turkey Sausage, (2) Scrambled Eggs (with cheese... I know, that was a cheat for sure) & (1) Wheat Toast. Probably about 561 calories in all. About half my daily goal.

"No problem" I thought, I'll have an IdealBar for lunch and then be careful again at dinner. I might be a little over calorie goal, but nothing crazy.

Then we went to dinner. We went to a local Mexican restaurant. I walked in totally set on getting a small dinner salad with Italian dressing and snacking on a little chips & salsa to get the "Mexican" flavors. But then I walked in and smelled that spicy, cheesy food and looked at the pictures in their menu (<--- I don't recommend doing this again. Ever.) and I had the split second thought of "I've worked hard, I deserve this" entered my mind and BAM. Just like that 2 cheese enchiladas in flour tortilla's were ordered. What exactly is it that I think I deserve? Sabotaging myself?

When I got into bed last night and put my food into my MyFitnessPal food diary, I cringed. 666 calories (<--- is it just a coincidence that the calories total the number of the Devil? I think not.) My total calorie count yesterday was 1,367.

But that wasn't the worst part. I figured I'd have a small gain this morning when I jumped on the scale... Ignoring the first 2 days that were elevated due to water weight, I'm averaging about .4 lbs of loss a day. So I figured I'd gain about that back. Nope.

2.2 lbs!!!! I gained 2.2 lbs!!!! And whats worse, is not only did I not work out yesterday, but within 30 minutes of leaving the restaurant I had a headache from all that crappy, artery clogging food I just poisoned my body with.

I am beyond disappointed with myself. And I'm so determined today to not let that happen again. I'm okay with the occasional cheat meal. But 2 cheat meals in one day? So unnecessary.

I was going to ignore my blog for a few days, and just try to forget this happened. But it DID happen, and I have to own that. I also have to be honest with my journey, with myself and with everyone else. It's the only way I'll be successful in the end.

When I talked with young girls who are just starting to discover their love of horses, and they explain how scared they are that they'll get bucked off, or get kicked I always tell them the same thing "There is no true horseman (or woman) who hasn't been bucked off, kicked at or bit. Period. It's going to happen, it's part it. But don't consider them failures. Just dust off your jeans and get back on." So, in the true spirit of taking my own advise, I'm going to dust off my jeans and get back on.